Do you want to know the only key to being a successful husband or wife?

Ephesians 5:21-33 Amplified Bible  being subject/submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

If we lived our marriage out like we were married to Christ there would be no problems, if you treated your spouse like the Christ like being they are,

How do you think they would respond to you? Example: Honey, you are beautiful today, I want you to know I am here for you,. If you need to talk I’ll listen, If you need some help around the house, anything for you. I love you.

If we could just learn to serve each other and try to out bless our spouses there would be less competition, strife and jealousy.Philippians 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Right now, your situation may feel like two people, too far apart, with too much damage done to save the marriage. But before you and your spouse close the door forever, you owe it to yourselves and possibly your children to give saving this marriage one more try.

Admit you need to be loved:

Because love is a basic need of humanity, every person has a deep desire to be loved.  Proverbs 19:22 (NIV): “What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.”  God alone holds the answer to our need for love. This means that your husband or wife will never be able to fulfill this need unless you first find satisfaction in God’s love.

Let your spouse off the hook:

Admitting our need for love comes from God we need also to exam ourselves, not just point the finger at our spouse. Ask God how He wants to change you. Don’t let your prayers be void of your own need, that might indicate you’re trying to have your needs met through a person’s love rather than through God’s. It takes a lot of courage to admit that your marriage might not be exactly what you want because you are not exactly what you need to be.

Make a list of what your spouse does to express their love:

Look at this as an act of thanksgiving to God. Think about things like, do they ask for forgiveness when wrong is done, prays with you, manages money well, spends time with you, and tolerates my weaknesses.  It’s easy to lose sight of all this when we’re hurting each other, and it is so important to refocus our thinking to be grateful.

Invest in friendship with your spouse:

This world’s idea of love can put emphasis on sex, romance and passion in marriage. If those things aren’t on full boil, we tend to think our relationship lacks love. But God’s Word defines marital love more in terms of friendship and commitment.  Take a night to play a board game or enjoy a hike together.

It doesn’t matter how deep the problem; the solution is still God’s love.

And He has much to say about love in His Word.

Two questions you can ask yourself to identify love. First, know what love is as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. … Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.  Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it.  Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth.  Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.  Love will never end…

God is love. Love is not self seeking, it will sacrifice for others not sacrifice them.

You should ask:

(1) Is God in this?

(2) How is this affecting the one you say you love?

Look at the situation from a Biblical perspective, if you can’t then you are not in love.

Ask yourself , ” is what I am seeking after destroying this person, their life, their family?  You can want someone you should not want, this goes back to the garden of Eden.

Adam and Eve were free to do anything they wanted, except eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 2:16-17, “And the LORD God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’” If God had not given Adam and Eve the choice, they would have essentially been robots, simply doing what they were programmed to do. God created Adam and Eve to be “free” beings, able to make decisions, able to choose between good and evil. In order for Adam and Eve to truly be free, they had to have a choice.

God is not against us finding a wife/husband but He does not want us to do it by hurting other people and for selfish reasons.